The Social Vegetarian – Connecting with Meat Eaters and Others at Work and at Play

Posted by admin in Becoming Vegetarian on Mar 1st, 2010 | 0 comments

People are now less inclined to look down their noses at vegetarians than in the past, but there are still social challenges to living a vegetarian life. Some people will believe that you’re making an in-your-face political choice and will have a negative reaction for no good reason. A lot of people will wonder if you’ve gone all hippy-dippy, patchouli-scented goofball on them, and treat you with condescension and scorn. Even the most supportive of friends will misunderstand what vegetarian means and offer you fish or eggs without ever asking you for the particulars of your diet. And you’re going to have to take this all with good humor and flexibility. The level of acceptance you find depends, of course, on where you live, where you work, and what sort of people you hang out with. But even in the most accepting of environments, you’re going to have challenges.

Explaining Yourself—Even though You Shouldn’t Have to

As we’ve discussed, you’ll need a supply of quick, polite answers to handle the questions people will have about your diet. Don’t get cranky. Sure, they’re nosy, but isn’t it nice that they want to know more about vegetarianism? If you already know what to say, it’ll be easy to give them an answer without turning the conversation into a lengthy debate. Some of the most common questions you’ll field are the same ones you had when you first started out—except now you know the answers:

Why are you a vegetarian?

If you don’t eat meat, how do you get enough protein?

Can you eat chicken? How about fish?

Is this some sort of a religious thing?

Is it hard to never eat meat?

Why do you wear leather shoes if you won’t eat animals?

Isn’t vegetarian food boring?

Can you eat at McDonald’s?

If you already know the answers, you won’t mind the questions so much!

Dining Gracefully with Nonvegetarians

Dinner parties—both attending them and hosting them—can be problematic for people on special diets. If you’re the host, you can make sure that you have a tempting variety of delicious foods and dazzle your guests with such tasty choices that they’d be foolish to miss the meat. But what if you’re the guest?

Often, even if your hosts know that you’re vegetarian, they may not know how to feed you. They may think that by serving grilled salmon instead of meat loaf they’re offering a vegetarian-friendly entree. Or you may end up in a situation where your hosts simply have no idea of what your needs are.

In those cases, you need to make the best of things. Etiquette is, fundamentally, about behaving well under challenging circumstances. If all there is on the table that you can eat is bread and salad, do so. And, if you’re questioned, smile and say that they’re so delicious that you’re happy to enjoy them. Even if it’s disappointing, remember that it’s just for one meal; chat with your tablemates, enjoy the company, and have a good time anyway!

If there’s absolutely nothing on the menu that you can eat, or your hostess sits a plate of animal food in front of you, do what children do—squish things around and mess up your plate. Hide the meat under some lettuce, and leave some empty space so it looks like you ate something. If the conversation is compelling, most people won’t notice how much you did, or didn’t, eat. (But don’t eat it, no matter what. )

Whatever happens, don’t make an issue of your diet. To be blunt, no one is really interested in what you can’t eat, and it’s considered rude to draw all of the conversation to yourself in such a manner anyway. If someone asks, just say that you’re a vegetarian and steer the conversation to something else.

If you’re headed to a big social event like a wedding or a family dinner, and you think there might be challenges finding something to eat, then eat a light meal before you leave the house. Even under the worst circumstances, there will be something for you to snack on, but you won’t be suffering from hunger pangs throughout the evening.

Being a Great, Vegetarian Hostess

Part of being a terrific host is anticipating your guests’ needs. Think about how you’d like to be treated when you go to dinner at a friend’s home. How about offering the same courtesy to them? When you invite guests to dinner, ask them if they have special dietary needs, or if there’s anything they absolutely hate. You’ll be surprised at what people have to say—some may be allergic to bell peppers, or peanuts, or dairy. If you accommodate their needs that same way you’d like yours accommodated in a similar situation, you can make them feel extra welcome in your home.
One sure way to make everyone happy is to serve a variety of different dishes buffet style, allowing guests to fill their plates only with what they want. It helps them to feel comfortable if they don’t want to eat something—no one will be looking at their plate and wondering why there’s still food there—and it’ll save you the effort of serving, so you have more time to enjoy your guests.

Only serve meat if you genuinely feel comfortable doing so. Some people will cook a chicken or fish dish for guests, but not partake of it themselves. If you’re happy doing this, then go ahead. But if you aren’t, then make them the best vegetarian meal they’ve ever tasted, and show them how delicious eating meat-free can be!

You can also put some extra effort into how you present the meal. For example, a simple garnish (an orange slice or a piece of cilantro) can add a little something to any plate. Also, rid the room of any distractions. Turn off the television, put on some dinner music, add some soft lighting, place some fresh flowers on the table, and you’ve got the perfect atmosphere for a fantastic vegetarian meal with family and/or friends!

Happy holidays, vegetarian style

Hosting holiday parties or dinners for family and friends can be quite an undertaking. But hosting holiday parties or dinners as a vegetarian can be another experience altogether. You may be a bit apprehensive about what to make, especially as a new vegetarian, because you don’t want to revert back to the old way of eating. Planning a brand-new vegetarian menu that will be good for you and make your guests happy isn’t as difficult as you may think!

When it comes to Thanksgiving, people expect turkey. When it comes to Easter, people expect ham. This is where a bit of creativity comes in. You can make these traditional holiday items with a vegetarian twist. All you need is an open mind, some willing guests, and some commonsense.

Take Thanksgiving for instance. What do nonvegetarians usually indulge in on this traditional holiday? Isn’t it typically some turkey, pumpkin pie, stuffing, sweet potatoes, and some bean casserole of some kind? All of these traditional Thanksgiving dishes can be made vegetarian style. Instead of a turkey, serve up a vegan nut roast. Some vegetarians even opt to serve a different entrée other than turkey, like stuffed shells or vegetable lasagna. As for the side dishes, you can easily substitute a vegetarian casserole or make a hearty leafy-green salad. Macaroni and cheese makes a great side dish as well, unless you’re a vegan. Never be afraid to experiment with pumpkin dishes as well. Pumpkin soup, or tiny individually stuffed pumpkins make a great side dish or appetizer. The grand finale, or the pumpkin pie, can also be made vegetarian style. Use rice milk instead of milk or eggs for the actual filling. Your guests probably won’t even notice the difference.

Even with traditional holiday meals, there are no absolute rules to follow. If your family and friends are open to trying new dishes, take advantage of the opportunity. Chances are they will feel much lighter and healthier after eating a vegetarian Thanksgiving meal instead of a meat-filled one. They won’t be suffering from a turkey-induced coma or feel bloated and uncomfortable, and they will thank you for it!

Meat and the Vegetarian Single

If you’re single and dating, you’ve probably already figured out that it’s a special sort of challenge. Do you date people who eat meat? Or are you only interested in dating other vegetarians?

Vegetarian singles that choose to date those who aren’t vegetarian or vegan may find themselves at a disadvantage. Many vegetarians can’t stand to watch people eat meat, and going out to dinner with a potential romantic partner who’s chewing on a big, rare steak is a disaster waiting to happen. Dating nonvegetarians can be stressful for vegetarians—after all, you may find yourself repulsed at the thought of kissing someone who just ate a cheeseburger!

On the other hand, you may not have any problem dating omnivores. If you’re vegetarian strictly for health reasons, it may not bother you that your partner is eating meat. If you’re vegetarian for moral reasons, however, you’re going to have a hard time dating people who indulge in a practice that you find unethical.

It’s no wonder that vegetarians often choose to only date other vegetarians. But that in itself brings its own set of drawbacks. For one thing, you’re seriously limiting your dating pool. For another, what if you are dating a different kind of vegetarian than you are? To a vegan, even dating an ovo-lacto can cause problems.

If you do want to date other vegetarians, you’ll have better luck if you live in a large metropolitan area. Many vegetarian societies have local groups that meet in larger towns and cities. Many of these groups have potluck get-togethers and outdoor events. There are also dating services just for vegetarians, as well as animal rights or animal welfare groups, and vegetarian cooking classes—all great places to meet vegetarian singles.

And don’t rule out Internet dating. The number of people gravitating toward dating online grows all the time, and it’s much more acceptable to meet potential mates this way than ever before. Sign up with a site that caters exclusively to vegetarian dating and, while you may not find as many members in the more all-inclusive services, you’ll know from the start that you’re meeting like-minded singles.

Vegetarianism at Work

If you’ve ever been on a weight-loss diet, you know what a royal pain co-workers can be. There’s a strange sort of hive-mind mentality that happens in the workplace, where people simply can’t accept that you don’t want a piece of birthday cake or a piece of that giant submarine sandwich. Sometimes it’s like being back in grade school—the peer pressure can be annoying, and it can sabotage your diet!

Vegetarians face a similar problem, especially if they’re the only vegetarian eaters in their office. Sadly, it’s human nature for people to feel threatened by any change in the status quo, and your becoming a vegetarian may cause people to become antagonistic, or to try and sway you to give up your commitment to a vegetarian lifestyle.

Even if you’re polite and don’t make a big deal out of your vegetarianism, it will most likely become an issue. “Come on … just have one slice,” they’ll say when the pepperoni pizza is set out. “What are you now, some kind of hippy?” they’ll ask. Usually they don’t even know they’re being rude and hostile; it will usually be presented in a joking manner. But it will be hard for you to stay cheerful if you find yourself continually under attack.

The best you can do is to smile, say, “No, thank you,” in a calm voice, and change the subject. You may have to walk away if they don’t drop the subject. But if the subject keeps coming up, perhaps you can use the situation to your advantage instead of becoming frustrated and angry. When they hit you with the usual jibes, come back with a clever response:

“I think tofu’s disgusting.”

“And eating a cow’s liver isn’t?”

“It’s okay to eat animals, because humans are smarter.”

“So does that mean it’s okay to eat stupid people?”

“I’ll bet one really great cheeseburger would change your mind.”

“And I’ll bet one trip to a slaughterhouse would change yours!”

“If you don’t eat meat, why do you wear leather shoes?”

“Why? Are shoes made from meat?”

Besides the witty comebacks, when you begin to deal with someone who has the courage to ask a question like the last one, it’s best to start with some common ground. For example, you may want to let them know that eating vegetarian saves quite a bit of water for the earth. Producing just a kilo of beef requires between thirteen thousand and hundred thousand liters of water, far more than you use for bathing in a single year. Given the current and expected water issues, it’s not hard to see why this is such an issue. Eventually, fights over the rights to what little water is left on the planet are inevitable.

What’s more, not only is nonvegetarianism a drain on water resources, but more than 50 percent of the world’s forests have been cleared for cattle production alone. As a result, carbon dioxide plays into this equation as well. With rain forests being eliminated at record rates, carbon dioxide rates are out of control, and that’s not only a real problem for people who live near the vanishing rain forests, but for all of us on a global level.

Keep in mind that the population of animals is exceedingly high already. There are seven billion people on the planet, but there are trillions of animals being raised to feed us. They are often forced to breed in a concurrent fashion (after they’ve given birth, they’re inseminated again), and that only causes a more serious drain on the planet’s resources as a whole. Each new birth, of course, means more food and water that’s not being spent on the human population, and that leads to the world hunger problem that we see today. Because much of the grain resources are reserved for the richer nations, it never reaches the hungry mouths in third world countries.

Our own food choices determine the fate of people on a worldwide basis, and given that we’re all interconnected, destruction in one nation ultimately means destruction in another. Once one given area goes down that we rely on for meat, agriculture, or something else, it’s difficult, if not impossible, to replace it.

Because what we eat goes hand in hand with the overal health of the planet, going vegetarian or vegan for the sake of future generations as well as your health is really quite an important decision. Given that your choice can create either a positive or a negative effect for others, it’s wise to consider all options. After all, just choosing to make others happy can make you happier in the long run.

In any case, starting with a common ground may help eliminate the useless debate that tends to occur in these situations. Showing a good sense of humor and ensuring that no one is antagonized or becomes defensive is the key. That applies to business functions like dinners with clients and conferences with catered lunches. If you’re dining in a restaurant, all of the usual etiquette applies—eat what you can, or politely ask for something else. If you’re stuck at a business function, however, and there’s absolutely nothing to eat, share your vegetarianism with your boss or the person who plans your company’s events. Once they start adding a vegetarian option to the fare at business meetings and other events, you’ll find that you’re not the only employee who enjoys that option; pretty soon you’ll find that there’s always something to eat at work.